


Running In Place

by arthurandhisswordbros, the_genderman



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020, Chronic Pain, Disability, Gen, Grumpy Bucky Barnes, Not a magical disability cure, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark's sense of humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25232647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthurandhisswordbros/pseuds/arthurandhisswordbros, https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_genderman/pseuds/the_genderman
Summary: For the Bucky Barnes Bingo square “Disability.” A brief slice of life as Bucky acclimates to life in the Avengers Compound, his chronic pain, and Tony Stark... being Tony Stark. At least Steve's as reliable as ever.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39
Collections: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020





	Running In Place

**Author's Note:**

> For the Bucky Barnes Bingo  
> Name: MarvelCollabCupid  
> Square: Y-5 (O-5?): Disability
> 
> I don’t want this to be a “magical disability cure” type story. Sure, there is tech in the Marvelverse, movies and comics, that could “cure” Bucky, but I want this to be more for people who don’t get that opportunity. The people who just have to live with their pain.  
> (Also, I don’t personally like the “the serum makes them immortal” headcanon very much, so I just look at it as it slows their aging but doesn’t stop it completely.)  
> Timeline: after CW, after BP, ignoring the events of IW and EG. The Avengers have reconciled, Ross and the Accords have been “dealt with,” and Bucky is free to move back home.
> 
> Fic by the_genderman, art by [arthurandhisswordbros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthurandhisswordbros/pseuds/arthurandhisswordbros), collab for [marvelcollabcupid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelcollabcupid/pseuds/marvelcollabcupid).

“Hey, what’s up with that?” Tony asked, stopping in the middle of the hall and giving a pointed once-over to the aluminum cane Bucky was using.

Bucky came to a stop, trying to decide if he wanted to engage, or if he had enough room to move around Tony on either side. He hadn’t been using the cane for very long, and he was still getting used to what he could and could not do, how much room he’d need to not accidentally whack people in the ankles as he tried to squeeze by. Or, sometimes maybe not so accidentally. As much as he appreciated the support it gave him, the things it allowed him to do, he wasn’t always in the mood for the stares and the questions. Today was one of those days.

“Trying to act your age, eh? Eh?” Tony ribbed. 

Bucky inhaled and tried to suppress a grumble. He’d heard that Tony was a carbon copy of Howard, humor-wise, but even that hadn’t _quite_ prepared him for the reality of it. On a good day, sure, he could handle it. This, however, was not a good day.

“No reaction? Nothing? Wow, tough crowd,” Tony said. He looked at Bucky, his arms out and expression expectant.

With a shrug, Bucky lifted his cane and gently prodded Tony in the ribs. When Tony sidestepped, Bucky hurried around him and wordlessly continued down the hall.

“Wow, excuse you,” Tony called after him.

Bucky didn’t feel like he had the energy to argue.

\----------------------

“Knock knock,” Tony said as he knocked on the door frame opening into the kitchenette.

Steve looked up from his tea. “Oh, hey Tony.”

“Look, I don’t wanna be _That Guy_ —although, maybe I do, I _do_ do ‘That Guy’ pretty well—but Murderbot has been even surlier than usual,” Tony said, stepping into the room and strolling past Steve to grab an orange out of the fruit bowl. “Somebody’s gotta talk to him about his attitude problem, and maybe if it comes from you, he’ll actually listen and maybe talk about what’s bothering him. Because he’s grumping around with a bug up his butt and frankly I’m tired of being the only one making an effort to patch things up.”

“I can talk to him,” Steve said slowly, emptying the tea strainer into the countertop composter, “but you’re gonna have to be more specific than ‘attitude problem.’ And remember, he went into cryo immediately after, and now he’s only been back for a little over a week. You’ve had more time than he’s had to process and come to terms with… everything that happened. Also, it might help if you didn’t call him ‘Murderbot’.”

“But I give everyone nicknames, that’s how things work around here,” Tony huffed.

“If you’re serious about you two burying the hatchet, you’re going to need to come up with a different nickname for him. Nothing involving murder or mind control, ok?” Steve said, giving Tony his not-yet-patented ‘Cap Is Disappointed in You’ look.

Tony made a noise that Steve thought could be interpreted as ‘understanding’ and began peeling his orange into the composter. Steve sipped his tea and waited.

“You’re still gonna talk to him, right?” Tony added after a brief, awkward silence.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to him.”

\------------------------------

“Mind if I join you?”

Bucky opened his eyes slowly. He had been having a pretty good time, relaxing in the hot tub. Music in his ears, a floaty neck pillow, and the warm water supporting him. Nothing and no one to bother him. Well, he didn’t really mind Steve bothering him, too much. As long as he didn’t have to get out of the hot tub.

Bucky shrugged and closed his eyes again.

“You feeling ok?” Steve asked.

Bucky made a noncommittal noise.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“What gave it away?” Bucky said with a sarcastic laugh.

“Oh, I dunno,” Steve said, stepping into the hot tub and settling onto one of the bench seats, “maybe because you’re not using your words, maybe because Tony says you hurt his feelings earlier.”

“Did he send you to get me to apologize, or something?” Bucky asked, opening his eyes again to side-eye Steve. He made no move to get up.

“Nah,” Steve said, shaking his head. “He did ask me to talk to you, but he didn’t ask for an apology.”

“Good, because he’s not getting one,” Bucky grumbled.

“But seriously, what’s wrong?” Steve asked gently.

“Well, for starters, my knees are still busted,” Bucky said, pulling himself slowly into a sitting position so he could talk more easily. “Left ankle’s acting up and I don’t know how long it’s gonna take for it to fix itself—don’t even know what’s wrong with it other than it hurts and it’s probably a delayed reaction from everything that happened in Germany and then being frozen before it could fix itself.”

“How long has this been going on?” Steve asked, scooting closer. “Should we call your doctors, the ones in Wakanda, see if they can do anything about it?”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Bucky replied.

“Why not?” Steve asked, his face clearly showing his puzzlement. “If they could find out what’s wrong, why wouldn’t you want that?”

“I know what’s wrong. My serum’s degraded,” Bucky explained. “Turns out, it wasn’t designed to get repeatedly frozen, defrosted, and electrocuted. And before you ask, yes, my doctors figured that out, yes, I’m sure they could’ve fixed it, but I’ve lived with it long enough, and if they fixed me up, how long do you think it’d be before someone, maybe not Ross, but _someone_ else comes along and tells me I need to get back in the fight, serve my country, atone for my sins. I got nothing to atone for. I mean, I wish I never woulda done the things I did, but I can’t go back and fix any of it, and it wasn’t my choice in the first place. So now I got good days, I got bad days. My knees are trashed, but I get by. Maybe sometimes I need a little help, but I get by. And maybe it’s not ideal, I’m never not in some kind of pain, but I’ve been making my own decisions, living my own life.”

Steve’s eyes followed Bucky’s hand as he gestured to where his cane lay. He gave a wry smile and nodded. “I’m guessing this is a bad day and Tony brought up that cane in classic Stark fashion, didn’t he?”

Bucky nodded.

Steve glanced aside. “So…” he began, a little hesitantly. “We haven’t really talked about this yet. When you said you’ve lived with it long enough, can I ask how long?”

“My memory’s a little fuzzy, but I wanna say I started slowing down in the mid ‘80’s,” Bucky said, eyes darting up to the ceiling as he thought. “Had to try to hide it—the Winter Soldier was a weapon, and weapons weren’t allowed to feel pain—but they noticed anyway. That’s why they had me, uh… get them more serum.” He paused and looked down, pursing his lips. 

Steve looked away, letting Bucky compose himself again.

“So, yeah,” Bucky said. He closed his eyes and shimmied back down into the water to float again.

“You really don’t mind?” Steve asked, then amended himself. “That might not be exactly the right way to put it. You’re really ok with living with the pain rather than getting your serum fixed?”

“I mean, maybe I’ll change my mind someday,” Bucky replied after a moment, “but for now, this is how I am. I’m human again. I don’t have to be a perfectly oiled machine. I don’t have to be a weapon. I can just be _human_ with very human aches and pains.”

“And a very human temper, too,” Steve teased. “I won’t tell you that you _have_ to apologize to Tony for being grumpy, but it couldn’t hurt. And then, even if you don’t want to get your serum fixed, maybe you could talk to him about upgrading that cane, finding some other ways to help mediate the pain. You can be human without having to suffer _quite_ so much for it.”

“Oh, alright,” Bucky replied. “If I’m feeling better tomorrow, I’ll go find him. And if I’m not, I’ll, I dunno, text him, I guess.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the art on Tumblr so y'all can like and reblog there. [Click here for Tumblr](https://arthurandhisswordbros.tumblr.com/post/623460372644610048/not-merlin-but-its-something-i-did-for)


End file.
